Monday, August 22, 2011

My African dream

When I was still little I dreamed about going to Africa. How I would one day be helping all little homeless and needy children, hold them and try to do everything I can to make their life better. I even came up with the plan how to start orphanage there. As I grew older this dream became to disappear. I thought that what I could possibly do to help them I don`t have any skills for that, they don´t need me. But still every time I saw on TV those children in pain and corruption I felt big compassion with tears coming from my eyes every time. I wanted to do smth about it but I didn´t know what. So I left it, there in the silent place of my heart wishing that maybe one day in the future God will use me for this nation.

I knew long time that after I finish high school I will go to bible school bc I have heard from a lot of different experiences that people have got founded their foundation in bible schools. After one or couple years of bible school gave them time to think about their calling in life and they had strong guidance for future by meeting different people and also hearing from God.
There is a lot things I don´t know about my life right now but I know who I follow, God. His ways are just incredible every step I take with Him he just keeps surprising me. So that´s why I wanted my life after high school when my independent life starts to begin with bible school. I looked up for various schools and me and my best friend Ketlin decided to go to Bethel school of supernatural ministry. It sounded all really fantastic my favorite worship band Jesus Culture is form there, California and awesome people and church where supernatural things are totally natural people get healed all the time. But I didn´t felt peace in my heart. There was smth wrong about this plan. One thing I felt in my heart that I should go to bible school alone. To get out of my comfort zone. Bc we have been doing everything together with my friend Ketlin we now each other already 11 year I guess. I new that God want´s me to go alone not to depend on anyone but only Him.

One day I was listening to Heidi Bakers preaching and really touched my heart. Heidi Baker is amazing woman of God and she have gave up all her life and she found her life in God when she moved to Mozambique to serve the people there. She thought that she will go and help them but in the end she was the one who was learning from them.
''You have to stay hungry and thirsty, starving like the poor who have nothing-for the things of God.'' Heidi Baker
So after listening her I went to find more information about her ministry in Africa. And I could not believe my eyes she had a school in Africa for the people who interested in her work there and who want to come and learn how amazingly God is moving there and see how He heals and changes people lives. This was my chance I new that I can´t miss this. This was exactly what I have been looking for. So I applied as soon as possible and then waited for the response. After a mount and few weeks of waiting and praying the the got a mail that Dear Nancy Kudrina you are accepted to Iris Harvest School of Mission 01 oct-09 dec. It was in the middle in the night my friend Maarit was just at my place and I could not believe this I was shocked:D Somehow all the time I was waiting for the response I had a lot of doubts bc I heard that it is not that easy to get in to that school. Only Maarit knows actually how happy and amazed I was when I got the letter. It is really hard to explain in words.
Here I am little estonian really having no experience of going to any kind of this places but God knew my heart desire and he made it happen. But now is the hardest part- finances for the trip. I know I need to trust God and I am doing it every day just giving it in His hands. What really encouraged was one girl from Estonia who was in the same school and who happen´d to come to my church one Sunday (how amazingly God guides us with people when we are in the right moment in the right time). And she said that everyone who was attending the school the year she was there had an financial miracle. And this kept me going and believing for my miracle. And I already had a job for two mounts and it is really hard to find job for such a short time so this helped me a lot.

I am so blessed by every prayer and I thank everybody who is keeping me their prayers bc I really need prayer support right now specially with finances. There is a lot I need to collect for the trip. If there is any possibility to support me financially and I would be more than thankful every little blessing means a lot for me.

My financial situation:
I need 3500 euros
I have 960 euros

Half of the money have to paid by the end of the August.

My SEB bank account: 10011572350225

IBAN: EE31 1010 0115 7235 0225
Mesila 12
Nancy Kudrina

I put my trust totally in God bc if He send He provides.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

And everything is really amazing here in Brussels we have had many cool things going on. Our last week here will be interesting we have 3 days to learn and prepare for our EXAM(scaaary) and then on Friday party funfunfun and the Saturday when the school is over we have free day and there will be outdoor youth event EXPLOSION, local church is organizing so we are able to help there and just be a part of this. I am happy that we bought tickets for one day later than we needed I guess that´s how it actually supposed to be :)

But I want to say that I love my friend so muchhh and I miss you today I started to really miss some people!
Miss you Ketu, Maarit, Hanna, church family and all the Kudrins of course, and my BED! I just want to say that I love you and you are important!! You are in my prayers.

Monday, August 15, 2011

The more I seek You, the more I find You

Saturday 13.08 another beautiful rainy day in Erasmus 3 km from Brussels. And I am slowly falling in love in this place even the rain does not boder me. It is literally like real life fairy tale. But on Saturday we had a chance to get out of this little country side to see some big city like in Brussels downtown. No lessons just chillax :))) Well we were ready take everything of this free day we could.

Memories of the day:
  • Eating traditional food of Belgium french fries. njommm
  • Singing in metro worship songs which made at least 10 sad people on the metro smile. SUCCESS
  • So discouraged of how tiny was the famous peeing boy.
  • Being with all the amazing people who surround me here.

Yesterday my favorite day of the week Sunday the church day! I was waiting for this day long time! I knew that we will visit this one amazing church of one pastor who was teaching us last week. So we all were exited. The moment I stepped I felt how all smiling and welcoming faces had a great influence on me. This was international church filled with people of all different domination. It was great picture how they all were bounding so well and were just one big happy family. We were so blessed to be part of that.

One of my favorite teachers form the school was preaching that day. He´s name is Bill Prevett. I have been learning from him so much. He made me think ov
er about a lot of things. Literally meeting him changed something in me. He is person who knows what he is talking about. I love people who do what they do with passion. He and his wife have been missionaries for many years and mission for them is basically giving their life for other people just helping them and being with them in their pain. They went to Cambodia when there was mass killings in and just being in the that horrible midst of darkness. The first say when they got there they wanted to escape because they haven`t never seen such corruption. He got so discouraged and asked God how can you be good in this situation. But when Bill was praying for the Cambodian children he saw a vision how there was a big field where people started just to raise from the ground and praise God. After that he new that they will stay there for longer time. At that time everybody on the streets were wearing guns, so it was really scary to move around. But after many years working there with children and other ministries it got better and they got the chance to organize event in big field. And when Bill was on the stage preaching there was thousands people coming to Christ and this was exactly the picture he saw in his vision.

Often when people see all the evil in this world they turn back on God because they blame it on Him. But the fact that people are the ones who are making wrong decisions and killing this can´t be put on God´s shoulders. Although its not easy to look into the midst of darkness and still believe, Bill was the one who still believed and thanks to that He could see that everything really does work together for good with God.

WHY I am always consurned about God´s perfect plan for me. I always worry that I might do smth wrong and I will miss the things God has for me. When you think about human body how every little part of it has its own function and they also have to work together so that the body can function as one. If we think about big organization in the world for example EU if there would be no creator no organizators no plan makers it would not work. So there have to be somebody making the plan perfect plan for you to function as you do right now. I believe that it is God. And He has perfect plan for every single person. And I am just blown away of He´s perfection and goodness. How He send´s people on my way who say to me things what I need to hear at the exact moment. How He send´s me to places I haven´t even dreamed about but which are necessary for me to go forward. And all hard things I have been going through have made me only stronger. And what I have been really understanding is if something bad comes on my way I would not be discouraged from it but I would learn from it.

There have been more exiting things going on here actually every day is smth amazing going on buuuut it is 12.00 at night here in Erasmus and tomorrow my alarm will ring at 07.00 so I better go to sleep!
Today we learned about Islam and this topic in gnarly!! This is such a big issue but I will write about it tomorrow hopefully.

"If your heart is filled with faith, there is no room left for fear."

Still thinking and praying about you my family back in Estonia and all over the world!
Be Blessed :)

Friday, August 12, 2011

Learning to be more like You

My first Blog!!
I don´t really now how much I can tell here, but well I guess I will write something what is going on in my life share my heart little bit.

Here I am in Brussels which is a miracle for me. If you ask me why the heck I am here I don´t really know myself, because I did´t really planed this for myself. God made all the planing. So the story how i got here is pretty nice one so I will write it shortly. My dear father asks me how
do you feel about going to Brussels on a mission course for 3 weeks. My first thought was def. NO I have to WORK and I don´t have money for this fancy things. And then he says its FREE. Well not actually free but church blessed me by paying the fee. How often does this kinda things happen in this world. I am used to get presents only for Christmas and on b-days and other occasions. But when people who barely know you are investing in me it made me really humble because I know I haven´t deserve any of this. Of course I grabbed the opportunity.

I love to travel, I can´t stand still on one place for to long. I need new experience new peoplenew cultures I love the rush of not knowing what is going to happen next day. I am so blessedthat I can share this experience with the one of the most amazing people I know Relika Bergström. If you know her you know what I mean. I knew that she would be perfect COtraveler and guess what SHE IS! From the moment we stepped on the plane it have been so FUNFUNFUN I haven´t laughed so much in this short time in a long time! How amazing is it to be around people who are full of joy and they infect you with that joy.

This week starting with Monday 8 has been extreeeemly fulfilling and challenging. We have had lessons with astonishing teachers, doctors, missionaries with Ph.D. So much knowledge in this short time and I feel like I know so little. I found out that even learning is not that easy. So I have been learning to learn. I had to admit I am not smart. Students in the school are all so different and all just full of God and are all called to mission and basic interest is to work with Muslim people. I will not go in to details but I am sure that Relika has wrote more detailed blog so check her blog.Today has been really interesting day. I am still blown away what is going on in the world! Missionaries have the most horrifing stories. It really brought tears to my eye. We have been talking about many topics and one of my favorites have been children and conceling. This might be the things I consider learning more about. God is doing great things in me I feel big compassion for children and for leaning more about people and their inner person complexity.

I have been so amazed what God puts on my way and it really puts me wonder where is He trying to lead me. What is He´s calling for me. I love to go on the journey to God´s mind. I know that I will never totally understand His way of thinking but I love the feeling when it think I figured it out.

I just need to mention also that who knows me now that I LOOVEE CHOCOLATE!! And if you would ask me to describe perfect place then there would have to be chocolate rivers and trees and all these sweet things :D Soo we went to chocolate fabric (Imagine me being like 5 year old girl who needs just little candy to be happy and that´s the way it actually was) we ate as much chocolate as it fit! That was a moment of happiness xD And it was not just chocolate it was the best in the world. I just felt I need to share my happiness, just could not keep it to myself!

Miss my dear friends and family! Praying for you!

One little thing I would love you to pray for a financial break through for Africa school and that they would open me visa.

One really cool project: